Update after FOREVER of not updateing. haaa. lol.

For lack of a better intro im going to begin with the lyrics to one of my currently favorite songs. It is Set The World On Fire, by Britt Nicole.

I wanna set the world on fire
Until it’s burning bright for You
It’s everything that I desire
Can I be the one You use?
I, I am small butYou, You are big enough
I, I am weak but You, You are strong enough to
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You There’s nothing I can not do
Nothing I cannot do
I wanna feed the hungry children
And reach across the farthest land
And tell the broken there is healing
And mercy in the Father’s hands
My hands my feet
My everything
My life, my love
Lord, use me
I wanna set the world on fire
I wanna set the world on fire, yeah
I’m gonna set the world on fire
Set the world on fire



This song is one of those that would be best to apply to your life as a prayer. (because thats basically what the song is anyways) I have always had difficulty with this one though. I like to do things how I want to do, and on MY time, and WHEN I want to do it, and WHAT I want to do.
me me me me me.
and i usually don't think im very selfish for most things. But when it comes to giving everything...well you can just say that one is difficult for me. And it's fine and easy while im not at home, when im out like how it was in Guatemala. But being home, comfortable, that is when everything goes SRJKLSDJFKLSJFLKSJ. (random letters are for lack of a word) Staying in Guatemala would have been so much better. I love everyone here, and especially my mom, but Guatemala was amazing. BUT i did not get to stay, and that is no excuse. eventually I will figure things out, until then, I guess i will just have to struggle. Which i can deal with. Sometimes it would be nice for things to be easy. But things will never be easy, not when there are choices. We chose to be how we are, even if it is a sub-concious choice. at some point i might make the right choice. i try to anyways, but i tend to be...forgetful.
So i will try not to.